Carnal Knowledge for Dummies
by caollaidhe
Summary: "Hinata!" Suga froze in his tracks. Kageyama? Suga was sure everyone had left for the day, though he knew for a fact that neither he nor Daichi had actually checked. or, Hinata and Kageyama are super bad at sex,
1. Chapter 1

I dont really like posting to ffnet because its kind of annoying and I know I push the rating system o.o but eh, you can just come find me on ao3 under the same name to read any of my stuff if need be ^_^

you're probably gonna need to disregard what you know about the layout of the Karasuno gym and pretend the locker/change room is directly attached to it ahhh im sorry

I own nothing

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><p>Sugawara threw his head back and laughed at the scene Daichi had painted in his mind, moving to avoid a small puddle in the cracked concrete.<p>

"I really like your mother," he chuckled as they walked down the quiet, vibrant street. "She does the strangest things."

"Yeah well at least you didn't have to deal with the mess she made." The taller boy grumbled, kicking a stone in his path.

"Aw don't be like that." Suga laughed, nudging Daichi with his shoulder.

"You're just happy because she likes you more than she likes me."

Suga scoffed, "She loves you more than life itself Daichi, and you know it." He shrugs then, his smile turning sad. "I can't help it if I'm a little jealous."

Daichi immediately turned his full attention on him. "Suga..."

"It's okay, I'm not upset—oh crap"

"What is it?" Daichi's worried expression only deepens.

"I think I left my house keys in the locker room." Suga dug through his backpack, finding only books and pens. "Damn."

Daichi was already walking back the way they came. "It's not late, we can go back and still be home before it gets too dark."

Suga simply smiled gratefully, jogging to catch up.

* * *

><p>Daichi veered off the path to the gym, heading towards the vending machine.<p>

"You want the usual, Suga?" He asked, receiving a grateful smile and a nod. "I'll meet you out here, okay?"

Suga nodded once more before unlocking the door to the gym and hurrying towards the change rooms—he didn't want to make them any later than they already were.

"Hinata!"

Suga froze in his tracks.

Kageyama?

Suga was sure everyone had left for the day, though he knew for a fact that neither he nor Daichi had actually checked.

Kageyama's voice was loud, not quite angry but something similar. They must be fighting again.

Suga rolled his eyes and continued to the door of the locker room, ready to give them a serious talking to about acting like a team on and off the court.

What he didn't expect was to open the door to two very naked kouhai, who were currently on the floor, fucking.

Suga stood stock-still, mouth half open with the ghosts of words long forgotten.

For their part, the two first years didn't notice the new addition to the room, too caught up in each other. Kageyama's body completely covered Hinata's, the only parts of him visible being a shock of orange hair and a pair of trembling arms and legs.

Kageyama's face was buried in Hinata's neck as he set an erratic pace, thrusting into the smaller boy with more force than Suga would expect.

The third year saw Hinata's face then, and he watched on with horrified eyes as his expression contorted into one of obvious pain and discomfort, the redhead biting his bottom lip and squeezing his eyes shut, presumably to stop any pained noises from escaping him.

It had only been a few short seconds since Suga had entered the change room, but a lone tear tracking across Hinata's temple pulled him from his immobility and he sprang into action.

"Kageyama, stop! You're hurting him!" Suga yelled, running forward to pull Hinata out of Kageyama's now slack grip.

Hinata whimpered as he was drawn into Suga's chest, the older boy wrapping his arms around his waist from behind. He wore an equally shocked and pained expression, until the latter won over and he buried his face in Suga's shirt.

Kageyama called out to Hinata weakly, reaching out with one hand and trying to cover himself with the other.

The loud echoing slap of shoes on the court reverberated through the gym, getting closer until—

"Suga! I heard-!"

Daichi bowled into the locker room, stopping instantly when he saw the situation.

"...shouting." He finished his earlier thought, eyes flicking between Hinata in Suga's arms and Kageyama.

"Daichi, take Kageyama." Suga said quietly.

Daichi stared for a second longer before snapping his mouth shut and nodding once firmly.

He went to a nearby locker first, pulling out two towels. He draped one over Hinata before pulling Kageyama from the floor and wrapping him in the other.

Kageyama looked like he wanted to protest as he was being led out into the gym, but he was clearly still too shocked by what had happened—by what he had done to Hinata— that he went without a sound.

* * *

><p>"I...I don't-I mean I—"<p>

"Kageyama."

The first year stopped talking, completely at a loss for words. Daichi thought he looked a lot smaller like this. He was completely vulnerable, tugging the white towel tightly around his body. But the one thing that made the younger boy look like a completely different person was his expression. Daichi had never seen Kageyama look so terrified and upset all at once. He decided he didn't like it in the least.

"What happened?"

"I-we...Hinata—" Kageyama sounded like he was choking on his team mate's name.

"Kageyama, take a deep breath." Daichi instructed, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.

Kageyama did as he was told, taking a shaking breath.

"Now, start from the beginning." Daichi said, hoping that it would be easier for him to work up to their current situation.

"Beginning?"

"When did you and Hinata start dating?"

"Oh, um... about a month ago. I-I confessed to him first, and then he told me he'd wanted to confess to me for a few weeks but he didn't know how to do it."

Kageyama seemed to relax more remembering this. It did surprise Daichi a little, not that they were together (he had always had his suspicions), but that they'd been together for that long. He was sure him or Suga or anyone else on the team would have noticed. Apparently their kouhai were a pair of good actors.

"We didn't change much after that. We always walked home together and went to each other's houses to play video games anyway, I guess we just did it more often." Kageyama shrugged, blushing and looking uncomfortable before continuing. "And then we started kissing a lot, and it got—it started to be _more_. But we never got that far because we decided that we were rushing into things, even though we both wanted too."

He finished quietly, examining his hands as if they were the most fascinating thing he'd seen.

"B-but then a few weeks later we decided we would do it, and I told Hinata I knew how because I thought I did! I-I—!" Kageyama's breaths were coming in quick bursts. He was panicking.

Daichi slid the hand that was gripping the younger boys shoulder across his back, resting it on the other and pulling Kageyama into his side.

"Today, he wanted to—I swear he did! I didn't force myself on him or anything I just—that dumbass should have said something!" Kageyama rambled on, saying whatever came to mind, and Daichi let him. "No—nonono I should have noticed, damn it. I should have known I was h-hurting him, I should have stopped! I'm the worst boyfriend."

Daichi frowned and took a deep breath, hoping he would word this right.

"Kageyama listen, it's true that you should have been careful with Hinata, you should have paid more attention to him while he was vulnerable like that." Daichi said, because there was nothing else to say about that; Kageyama did mess up. "_But_, it's also true that no matter how much you wish it, you can't take it back. So wallowing on what happened won't help you."

Kageyama shook his head. "But I still did that, it still happened—"

"You made a mistake, a pretty dangerous mistake but a mistake all the same. You need to focus on making it up to Hinata, explain what you're feeling and how you never set out to hurt him. Because I know you didn't and I'm sure he does too."

Kageyama's eyes seemed to lose focus and something about his presence changed.

"What if he hates me now? What if he doesn't want to be near me? I mean I can't play volleyball without him, he's the best partner for me! And—and I can't not be near him—I _like_ him! Damn it I really, _really_ like him, he can't leave oh god—"

Daichi had to stop him there, because now he really was panicking; it sounded like he was struggling to breathe at all, harsh breaths dragging in and out erratically, eyes blown wide and pooling with tears. His hands were shaking and he was curling in on himself where they sat on the wooden bench.

Daichi cursed inwardly, slipping off the bench to kneel in front of the younger boy. He shouldn't have let Kageyama say and think those things.

He was definitely having a panic attack. Suga had them too, albeit infrequently, but Kageyama was showing all the same signs. And by the confusion mixed in with the panic in his eyes, Daichi could tell Kageyama had probably never experienced one before.

"Kageyama—hey, look at me." Daichi steadied him with his hands but Kageyama was as tense as ever, and didn't meet his gaze.

_Don't restrain him_. Daichi removed his hands. Suga hated being held like he couldn't escape when he was like this.

It had been so long since Sugawara's last attack that Daichi had to rake his brain for the best way to deal with this.

Koushi. He always called Suga by his first name when this happened. It seemed to bring a certain familial presence that calmed him— even if he didn't have the greatest relationship with his parents.

Daichi thought of one or two other things that usually helped that he couldn't try with Kageyama, as well as another pretty important one. Even though it was late in the afternoon, it was still rather bright in the gym, which could be a problem. Either way, Daichi could only try everything.

"Tobio, listen to me. I need you to close your eyes for me, okay?" Daichi waited. "Tobio?"

Kageyama lifted his head jerkily, tears spilling over and down his cheeks as he met Daichi's calm eyes. Daichi smiled, "Close your eyes."

The boy took a few more shuddering breaths before he nodded and let his eyelids fall. "I—I feel dizzy." He choked out.

_Get him into a position he's comfortable in._

"Okay. Do you want to lie down?"

"No—" Kageyama's breathing picked again. "I don't... want to m—move from here."

"Okay, just stay in the position that makes you comfortable okay?" Daichi's voice was calm, but firm.

Kageyama nodded, briefly opening his eyes to determine where the upperclassman was. He let his head fall forward onto Daichi's shoulder slowly, breathing a little smoother now that he didn't have to hold up his swimming head.

Daichi kept steady and listened to Kageyama's breathing, which was still too abnormal to be healthy. He was probably still thinking about what Hinata will do after all this.

"Tobio I want you to focus on my breathing okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now I want you to mimic my breaths. Focus on only that." Daichi took a deep breath and held it for a second before letting it out.

Telling Kageyama that things with Hinata would be fine wouldn't help at all, it would only draw more attention to the thing that brought on this attack in the first place. It was better to get him to focus on something else.

Daichi took another breath, and another, and another until Kageyama was mostly meeting each one, occasionally slipping up but doing well for the most part.

After about two minutes, Kageyama's breathing was virtually back to normal. But now he was shaking for a whole different reason than panic, and Daichi could feel tears soaking into his shirt where Kageyama rested on his shoulder.

Daichi placed a cool hand on the back of Kageyama's neck. "It's okay, Kageyama."

"I-I'm sorry Daichi-san." The first year rasped out.

"There's no need for that." Daichi reprimanded. "Have you had a panic attack before?"

Kageyama sniffled before nodding. "Only once, it was so lo-long ago though, that's why I was confused." He pulled away from Daichi's shoulder, wiping at his face with the towel. "It was in middle school... after my team left me alone on the court."

"What did you do? Did someone help you?"

Kageyama shook his head. "I just stayed in the bathroom until it stopped, it went on for a lot longer than this one did... Thankyou for helping me."

"Of course, it's my job to look after you kouhai." Daichi patted Kageyama's head with a small smile.

Kageyama tried to return it but it came out as a grimace. "I did something terrible Daichi-san."

"Kageyama you just have to talk to him, okay? It's the only thing for it." Daichi told him firmly. He couldn't have Kageyama thinking like that again. "I'm going to message Sugawara, is it okay that I tell him what happened?"

Kageyama nodded rigidly, taking a deep breath.

Daichi smiled, placing a reassuring hand on Kageyama's knee.

**_To_: Koushi**

_**Sub:**_ hows Hinata?

_Suga, Kageyama's doing ok now, he had a bit of a panic attack before but he got through it. Hows the little guy going?_


	2. Chapter 2

Hinata continued to shake after Daichi and Kageyama left the locker room, and Suga did his best to calm him, carding his fingers through his soft hair and whispering reassurances to him.

Clearly he and Daichi needed to have a talk with their clueless kouhai. He'd need to buy some things for them too.

Suga sighed, rubbing Hinata's back in small circles. His shaking was much less violent now and he had practically melted into Suga's embrace, resting in the third years crossed legs, his face still buried in his chest. Suga had adjusted the towel so it covered Hinata better. This situation was probably embarrassing enough for the bright haired boy, add in his senpai seeing him in such a state and Hinata was practically a ball of embarrassment.

"Hinata~" Suga cooed lightly when the boys breathing was even and his tears had dried.

"Suga-san?" He was barely audible, voice muffled in Suga's shirt.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, trying to coax the younger boy out from his hiding place.

"Hurts." Came the simple reply.

Suga hummed, "I know. When you get home I want you to run a warm bath, okay? Not too hot though. It'll help I promise."

Hinata slowly pulled away from Suga (finally!) and wiped at his face, which, to be as kind as possible, was a mess.

"...okay." He said, looking up at the upperclassman.

Suga smiled, pushing strands of Hinata's wilder-than-usual hair away from his face where some was stuck to his skin with a mix of sweat, tears, and snot. It was decidedly disgusting, but Suga didn't mind.

Hinata looked away, wiping furiously at his face with the corner of the towel.

Suga laughed lightly, "Stop that, it's fine."

"I'm messy," Hinata countered. "I made your shirt messy." He glanced guiltily at the wet patch on Suga's shirt. "I'm really sorry Suga-senpai."

"Hinata, it's okay!" Suga said sincerely, his face turning a little more serious then. "Do you want to talk?"

He knew Hinata knew what he was implying.

"We are talking." The boy mumbled predictably.

Suga sighed, deciding on the more direct, blatant approach. Whether he liked it or not, Hinata needed to talk about this, and god knows he wouldn't do it with Kageyama without relentless prompting so this was the only other option.

"Why didn't you tell Kageyama he was hurting you?"

Hinata huffed, shifting uncomfortably in Suga's lap. Suga could see the defeat in his eyes before it registered on his face.

"...he was upset. He wouldn't tell me much but he said something about a bad grade." Hinata explained. "And then today in practice he was really off."

Suga nodded, remembering how over half of Kageyama's tosses hadn't been where the spikers had wanted them. Even his tosses to Hinata were off.

"I just wanted to make him feel better." The boy trailed off.

"So you initiated it." Suga said.

Hinata nodded. "He told me he knew how so I thought it would be okay...and then I was happy, because I could tell he was feeling good. So when he pushed into me and it didn't stop hurting from then on, I didn't say anything. I just pulled his face into my neck so he wouldn't see my face." Hinata sighed, "I just wanted to make him feel good... I-I like him. I _really _like him."

Suga sighed and pulled a blushing Hinata back into his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Trust me, Kageyama would have rather you tell him those type of things. You can't seriously believe he'd be okay after hurting you like this?"

"He wasn't supposed to know!"

"That's beside the point. He should have known. He must've been pretty messed up today to not have noticed." Suga carded his fingers through Hinata's hair again, liking the soft feel of it between his fingers. "Whatever you were doing was obviously very wrong though. Usually it might hurt a little, or not at all if you're very careful. Otherwise it's just a weird feeling of discomfort— before it starts feeling good, of course."

Hinata groaned, turning his head into Suga's chest, presumably to hide his red face. "How can you say such embarrassing things?" He said, "How do you even know all this?"

Suga smiled, "it's my job to know."

A vibration startled the pair then, drawing their attention.

Suga fished his phone from his pocket, checking the message he just received.

Daichi? Why didn't he just come and talk to him, Kageyama would probably be fine on his own. 

**_From:_ dai~chi 33**

_**Sub:**_ how's Hinata?

_Suga, Kageyama's doing ok now, he had a bit of a panic attack before but he got through it. Hows the little guy going? _

Well that explained it. Daichi couldn't leave Kageyama alone after a panic attack. Suga sent a message back, letting him know that Hinata was fine, just a little sore and shaken.

"Suga-san?"

"Yeah, Hinata?"

"Can I put my clothes on?"

Suga chuckled lightly, nodding and helping the boy stand up.

"You okay?" He asked, noting the unsteady legs.

Hinata nodded, waddling over to the pile of clothes on the floor. He scooped them up, one hand still holding the towel securely around him.

"You don't need any help getting dressed?" Suga asked.

"No!" Was the indignant reply and Suga laughed, holding up his hands defensively.

"Here, take Kageyama's clothes out to him." Hinata mumbled, pushing a small pile into Suga's arms.

The third year smiled, accepting them. "Come out when you're ready?"

Hinata nodded firmly.

"Good." Suga squeezed his shoulder quickly before leaving the locker room.

* * *

><p>He spotted Daichi and Kageyama immediately, sitting on a bench at the side of the gym. Well, <em>Kageyama <em>was sitting. Daichi was kneeling in front of him, both hands placed on the younger boys knees. He was talking to him in a hushed voice and Suga approached warily, aware that Kageyama might not be in the right way to be surrounded by too many people at the moment.

Daichi noticed him first, smiling a little, nudging Kageyama and saying something to him.

"I brought your clothes—" Suga began once he'd reached them, but was immediately cut off by the first year.

"Is—I mean," Kageyama swallowed. "How is... How is he?"

Suga sat down next to Kageyama, placing the pile of clothes out of the way. "Hinata's doing okay. He's getting dressed at the moment, but he said he would come out when he's ready." Suga glanced at him, "Is that okay with you?"

"I..." Kageyama was at a loss for words. He didn't really know if he could face his boyfriend, but at the same time he needed to see that he was okay. The possibility of Hinata hating him continued to play on his mind. Kageyama didn't think he'd be able to function if Hinata looked at him with those big brown eyes, completely full of contempt.

"Kageyama," Suga said softly. "It's okay. Hinata likes you very much, he knows you didn't mean to hurt him. Have a little faith yeah? It's not all bad." The upperclassman reach up a hand to ruffle his hair, giving him a smile.

Kageyama looked away from Suga and to Daichi, noticing the strange look the captain was giving the silver haired boy before he directed his smile at Kageyama, squeezing his knee.

"O-okay."

Suga beamed, grabbing the pile of clothes once more and placing them in Kageyama's lap. "We really shouldn't leave you alone after a panic attack, do you want one of us to stay?"

"No." Kageyama blushed deep red. "I'll be fine."

Suga chuckled, "We'll wait outside then, you get dressed."

Suga stood up, grabbing Daichi's elbow and helping him from the floor. "We'll be back in three minutes, okay?"

Kageyama nodded, watching as they made their way to the gym door and listening to the distinct click as it shut behind them.

In that moment, Kageyama was eternally thankful for his senpai.

He stood up unsteadily, letting the towel drop and pulling on his clothes quickly.

He just barely tugged on his shirt when soft footsteps came from behind him. Kageyama shivered. It could only be one person, there had been no tell-tale clicking of the gym doors as they opened, the third years were still outside. Before Kageyama could turn around small arms slipped around his waist, hesitantly at first, as if the owner wasn't certain of their own movements, and then all at once they were around him and _squeezing_. Kageyama was frozen in place, staring transfixed at the thin arms pressed into his stomach. A wave of emotions rolled through him; deep regret, happiness, relief, anger, and a few more he couldn't place. He squeezed his eyes shut, trembling hands reaching up to cover the ones around him.

"I'm... so sorry, I—"

In a blur of bright orange Hinata was in front of him, reaching up around Kageyama's neck and pulling him down into a hug. The taller boy went stiff but allowed it, leaning down at the odd angle as Hinata held him firmly.

"It's okay."

His voice was soft and calm in his ear and Kageyama let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, dropping his head onto his boyfriends shoulder. He slowly brought his arms up, wrapping them around the small frame tentatively. He was so scared of _breaking _him his arms almost hovered around Hinata.

They were content standing there in the gym, a mix of emotions not wholly good, but good enough for them passing between the two. Kageyama almost wanted to say more—to apologise until his voice ran out— but he knew it wouldn't make things okay, and he wasn't sure if Hinata would want him to.

Someone cleared their throat, "Hinata, Kageyama, it's getting late."

It was Sugawara's gentle voice that roused them, Kageyama hadn't even heard the two third years come in. Hinata released him slowly, giving him a peck on the cheek for good measure.

"Will you be okay walking home?" Daichi directed his question to them both equally, though Kageyama thought Hinata deserved all the attention. Kageyama was fine, his boyfriend was the one who'd been hurt.

"We'll be okay!" Hinata gave a wide grin that made Kageyama's stomach lurch like it was attempting to detach and force its way up his throat. How could he be so _happy_? And give that smile that Kageyama wished he could look at every day for the rest of his life. Not that he would tell the dumbass middle blocker.

Their senpai looked vaguely uncertain but smiled all the same, gesturing for the first years to leave first so they could lock up behind them. Hinata and Kageyama quickly grabbed their bags from the locker room, bowing low to Sugawara and Daichi while apologizing profusely for any trouble they caused.

"That's quite alright—"

"But it won't be the last you hear about this from us," Suga interrupted the captain, eyes stern.

Hinata and Kageyama nodded guiltily, wondering just what _that _meant, bidding their goodbyes and leaving the gym.

Kageyama jumped as his hand was clasped in Hinata's smaller one, the overwhelming urge to snatch it back nearly winning out over the contrasting desire to pull the orange haired boy into his arms again. He did neither, allowing Hinata to cling to his hand as they walked away from the school, and away from Kageyama's big mistake.

Daichi and Sugawara watched on curiously, a hint of worry for their kouhai between them. The silver haired boy pressed up against Daichi's side, "Do you think they'll be okay?"

Daichi hummed, considering the question. "I don't know." He admitted with a frown. "But they have overcome a lot together, I think they might surprise us."

Suga cocked and eyebrow as Kageyama edged away from the smaller boy when he tried to walk closer to him. It was almost comical.

"It wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure."


	3. Chapter 3

_**IMPORTANT:** this story will eventually need a higher rating than ff offers, and because im getting some love from everyone's favourite vigilante group, i will stop posting chapters of CKFD on here when it pushes the ratings. However, I will still continue this on Ao3 so you can find and read it there under the same name. Thanks for listening and hopefully understanding!_

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><p>Hinata huffed as he turned the pedals on his bike rhythmically, pushing himself up the rickety hill. He still ached a little, especially around his hips and ass, but that wasn't why he was so pissed. Kageyama had been avoiding him at every turn, in every possible way.<p>

Usually, the pair of them would spend at least one day of the weekend together, practicing volleyball or playing computer games or making out. Sometimes they spent all of their weekend together, working on homework in the time that they would usually be apart.

Hinata had invited Kageyama over no less than five times; three on Saturday and two on Sunday. But the dark haired boy would always reply to his messages with a ridiculously frustrating and blunt excuse like 'Can't, mum wants me to go shopping with her' or 'I have to go visit my grandparents'. Hinata had even tried to invite himself over to Kageyama's twice, each time being shut down in a similar fashion. Their phone calls (both initiated by Hinata) were brief and mostly one sided, Kageyama always finding a reason to hang up after only a few short minutes. At that point Hinata fully expected his boyfriend to throw an excuse like 'Sorry, I can't hang out with you today I have to babysit my aunt's friend's second cousin 83 times removed.' at him and expect him to believe it.

After the incident on Friday the walk home had been, by all interpretations of the word, painful. When they had reached the school gates, Kageyama had let go of his hand. This in itself wasn't out of the ordinary - it was much too risky for them to hold hands on the streets - but after all that had happened it stung Hinata's already wounded chest. Kageyama apologized a grand total of six more times on their journey home. Each one felt like a new blade in his stomach, because that wasnt Kageyama. Hinata wanted him back to the way he was. He wanted the insults, the frequent threats and name calling. He wanted for Kageyama to yell at him sometimes, when the moment was right. He wanted the boy that would apologise once, because it was enough. He didn't want to be treated like some statue that Kageyama had fractured to the point where a feather of weight could send it crumbling to pieces. Most of all he wanted the fierce affection Kageyama often expressed around him, especially when they were alone.

When they parted on Friday, Kageyama had accepted Hinata's peck on the lips goodbye, albeit rigidly. He remembered thinking he'd have more luck making out with a lamp post.

Hinata brought his bike to a stop, chaining it up and cursing audibly a few times when he couldn't manage to connect the lock properly.

The school was practically deserted, only people like himself and Kageyama came this early. Along with Sugawara and Daichi of course, who would be in the club room going over this mornings training regimen.

He wasn't sure why he still came early today. After Kageyamas Houdini act Hinata fully expected for him to not show up. Without his partner, there really was no good reason for him being there. Perhaps it was habit, but either way he'd dragged himself here now, maybe he could coax Sugawara into practicing a few spikes with him. Maybe he would just wallow in his own misery for a while. The possibilities were great, Hinata hadn't decided yet.

Sighing, he trudged towards the gym, kicking at stones in his path in a pathetic attempt to release some of his anger. He hated that Kageyama was ignoring him. He hated himself for ruining what they had. After all, he had been the one to initiate it. How could he have been so stupid? Kageyama probably didn't want much to do with him anymore. Maybe he'd try and get him kicked off the team. He shuddered at the thought.

Preoccupied in his thoughts, Hinata nearly missed the moment another pair of footsteps joined the monotonous tapping of his own. However he was at a good vantage point, slouched over and moping at the ground like he was, he saw the new pair of feet before he heard them.

Hinatas train of thought derailed and exploded with all the force of a crappy Michael Bay film when he looked at Kageyama, the owner of said feet. A small smile played on his lips, tentative, as though Kageyama wasn't sure if it should be there. It was terrifying, sure, he rarely managed to smile like a normal person when it was forced, but it was something. And just like that, it was as though the past three days never even happened. Hinata wanted to stay angry, he wanted to ask questions and yell and apologise and demand answers, he really did. But that expression flawed him. He was well aware that he probably looked like a complete dumbass staring at his boyfriend with his eyes bulging and mouth gaping. He didn't get long to think about that, as Kageyama took off in a full sprint towards the gym.

Hinata took off after him. Like nothing had changed. Like any other morning they were going to race to the gym?

Hinata forced his legs to move faster, falling into step besides Kageyama who in turn increased his speed. Hinata would have laughed if he didn't think doing so could be detrimental to him winning. Instead he smiled, loving the feel of the wind whipping through his hair. He reveled in the combined sound of their shoes slapping against the old concrete and the cool morning air as it bit at his skin, making him feel infinitely more awake.

Maybe Kageyama really had been busy all weekend? It wasn't exactly impossible, he did have other things in his life besides Hinata. Maybe this really was just a big misunderstanding?

Hinata collapsed in a heap when he reached the steps of the gym, half a second after Kageyama who was equally as exhausted. They laid there, gasping for breath for a moment before Kageyama finally spoke. "That's 72 and 71 now, my way." He sounded so smug when he said it Hinata almost wanted to hit him.

"I'll win next time." He huffed, pushing himself up and over to where Kageyama was still struggling to catch a breath. He smiled, hovering over his team mate for a moment before swooping down and pressing a hard kiss to Kageyamas lips. Hinata didnt miss the panicked look on his face right before contact, but he ignored it. They did this most mornings; Kageyama would drag him to side of the gym and press him against the wall and they'd make out for a while. Sometimes they lost track of time and didn't stop until they heard the rest of the team arriving. When Daichi or Sugawara would ask why they didn't come early, they would claim to have slept in or decided not to that day. It was practically fool proof.

Hinata licked at Kageyamas lips, attempting to deepen the kiss but the other boy wouldn't have it. Strong hands pushed against his chest, forcing him away. He heard Kageyama mumbled something about being in public and Hinata had to resist the urge to hit him once more. Like that's ever stopped them before?! Kageyama pulled himself from the floor, reaching down to help Hinata up before grabbing his discarded bag. "Come on, we can practice some receives before the team gets here." His quite words just sounded like an excuse to Hinata, a distraction. Still, he followed without complaint.

Hinata didn't notice Kageyama freeze after he opened the gym door, walking right into his back. "Oowww! Kageyama, why'd you stop?" Hinata whined, rubbing his sore nose. Kageyama didn't reply, stepping aside instead so the redhead could see for himself.

"Sugawara-senpai?"

Standing in the middle of the court were none other than the two captains. Sugawara looked calm, smiling in a way that could only be described as knowing. Something about the curve of his lips set Hinata on edge. Daichi, on the other hand, looked antsy and uncomfortable, shifting his weight at least four times in the short few seconds the first years had been standing there.

Kageyama and Hinata entered the gym warily, trying to determine what the upperclassmen could want with them. Were they getting into trouble? We're they being taken off as regulars? Are they going to be punished for Friday? Sugawara _had_ said that it wouldn't be the last they'd hear from them about the incident. Hinata swallowed nervously. Part of him kind of hoped they would just get yelled at, however scary Daichi was when he yelled. He'd rather that than an alternative.

"You guys are colder than ice," Daichi spoke when they were standing in front of the third years. He eyed the notable distance between Hinata and Kageyama. "didn't you kiss and make up already?"

Hinata muttered to himself, "Kageyama won't _let_ me kiss him."

"Shut up, dumbass" Kageyama said, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Hinata pouted and looked to the upperclassmen for help. Daichi raised an eyebrow at Kageyama and Sugawara just shrugged. Not much help then.

"Well, whether you're going to or not, Suga's gonna teach you... stuff." With that Daichi quickly slipped away, making a beeline for the exit amongst Sugawaras protesting. "I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast, babe, I know you didn't eat this morning, later!"

_Babe_? Hinatas eyes widened in suprise at the pet name. So everyone really was right, their captains were a thing. Nishinoya owed Tanaka a fair bit of money. Kageyama was looking at Sugawara with a similar glint if curiosity.

"Coward." The silver haired boy muttered.

"Babe?" Hinata questioned, mischief sparkling in his brown eyes. pushing the embarrassment of the situation onto his senpai definitely sounded like something he wanted to do. He wasnt sure if he could stand any more himself.

Sugawara eyes widened and his mouth flapped open like a baby bird a few times before he mumbled something indiscernible under his breath, sitting down where he was on the gym floor. "Let's just do this." He motioned for Hinata and Kageyama to sit down in front if him.

Hinata was still smirking as they sat down, but that was swiftly wiped from his face when Sugawara pulled an intimidating black plastic bag into view. He eyed it suspiciously but it was simply placed to the side. Hinata had been slowly putting the pieces together but it wasn't until he saw the bag that it finally clicked. This was going to be a talk. A _sex talk_. Who knew what kind of vile things were in that bag. Hinata breifly considered following Daichi's example and making a run for it.

"Now," Sugawara started. "This is going to be as uncomfortable for me as it is for you so just be quiet so we can get through it." As an afterthought he added, "Unless you have any relevant questions! I don't want you guys to be confused about anything, alright?"

Hinata swallowed the nervous lump in his throat and nodded. He saw Kageyama do that same from the corner of his eye.

And it wasnt so bad, at the beginning at least. Sugawara started off talking about relationships in general and how communication is absolutely vital in all areas, especially in the bedroom. He mentioned that every couple should talk about what they each want to get out of a relationship to avoid any misunderstandings or unwanted advances. Linking that to consent and how and when it can be given. Hinata didn't think he'd mind if Kageyama wanted to do something when they were drunk (assuming they were much older and still together) but he understood why it wouldnt quite count as consent. maybe that was something you were supposed to talk about together when youre sober.

Sugawara emphasized the importance of making sure the other was okay during sex, and how important it is to ensure they continue to feel comfortable afterwards. He spoke about the different ways people behave after being intimate with each other, highlighting the fact that everyone is different and there's no right way to react.

Kageyama looked upset during the first part of Sugawaras lesson and Hinata wanted so desperately to reach out and take his hand. But he didn't.

"Okay, ah..." Sugawara reached for the black bag then. "Now for the actual doing part I guess."

Oh no. The _doing_ part. This was going to be bad, Hinata wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to look Sugawara in the eyes again.

"First of all, you need to have the necessary, ah, provisions before you do anything." He began pulling things from the plastic bag one by one. "So you might already know what some of this is but ill explain it anyway."

Hinata knew what condoms were, but the other things he wasn't so sure on.

Sugawara picked up the small silver packet first. "So this is your regular latex condom." He tore open the packet and settled the off-colored circle in his palm. "Pretty much the most basic thing for sex with girls, but a lot of people don't seem to know that they're just as essential for guys practicing anal sex."

Hinata pulled his knees to his chest. He did not want to hear Sugawara say those words but he knew he'd only hear them more as the lesson progressed. He hoped it wouldn't go for too much longer.

"They make everything a little less messy. As well as provide protection against sexually transmitted infections. Cleaning up afterwards is a lot quicker too-"

Kageyama interrupted, sounding a little panicked. "We didn't use a condom when we... last Friday." He trailed off awkwardly.

Hinatas eyes widened, could they have gotten an infection?

"No, you didn't. But It's extremely unlikely that either of you have anything you didnt already know about. You're very young, and you were both virgins, yes?"

Hinata and Kageyama nodded quickly.

Sugawara smiled. "Then unless either of you have been needle-sharing you're fine. But if you're really worried, and this goes for any time in the future as well, I'm always willing to take you to a health clinic for tests. They're anonymous and generally don't require parental consent."

"No, I think I'm okay."

"Yeah me too."

"Of course, just so you know it's an option." Sugawara gestured to his hand, bringing the attention back to the condom.

He explained what the parts of the condom were and what they did. When he needed to show them how to put it on, he reached back into the black plastic bag and pulled out-

"A banana?! You actually brought a banana oh my _god_." Hinata covered his face with his hands.

"It was this or a cucumber alright, I didn't know what else to use." Sugawara defended. He then proceeded to ensure Hinata would never eat another banana in his life, demonstrating how to correctly put on the condom, sliding it down in an almost agonizingly slow movement of his arm. Even though it was a freaking piece of fruit, Hinata found it needlessly sexual-like Sugawara was messing with them. Or maybe he was just really horny and it was projecting. Either way, he watched on from between his fingers. Kageyama was stock still and blushing furiously, the colour stretching all the way into the collar of his shirt. but he watched on intensely, with an enviable kind of bravery.

"Be careful when you take it off and make sure you tie it." He peeled the condom off and knotted it about half way. "Then just wrap it in a tissue and put it in a bin."

Hinata would like nothing more than to say the banana-condom demonstration was the worst part of Sugawaras lesson, but apart from being a gross underestimation of the third years attention to detail, it would also be a stupendous lie. After he showed them the small bottle of lube (which Hinata decided would have been a godsend last Friday) and explained what exactly the 'female' condom was and how to use it, Sugawara leapt head first into his Step-By-Step Guide to Super Gay Penetrative Sex (capitalization strictly necessary).

The unexpectedly detailed descriptions he went into were as admirable as they were cripplingly embarrassing. He even spoke about what positions might make things more comfortable. Listening to someone lay down the basics of it meant Hinata could pinpoint every single thing he and Kageyama had done wrong Friday afternoon, which was pretty much everything. Perhaps the only thing they did right was take of their clothes, and that isn't even necessary half the time.

"Now you guys know that penetrative sex isn't the only thing you can do right? You can use your mouth anywhere- just be careful with teeth in sensitive areas." He said pointedly. "Or you could just kind of rub against each other, there really is no right or wrong way, as long as you both are consenting and being safe." Sugawara shrugged. "I guess that's about it, if you want a more detailed explanation of anything just come talk to me, unless you have any questions now?"

"No."

"Does it always hurt afterwards?"

Hinata hadn't really meant to say it, but it had been playing on his mind for a while. He saw Kageyama look at him guiltily.

"Well," Sugawara answered carefully. "Yes and no. Sometimes there could be pain, if you were perhaps too quick or too rough, but mostly your muscles just kind of ache and you feel a bit tender."

"Oh, okay. That's good."

Sugawara nodded, reaching into the plastic bag again. From it, he pulled out a smaller brown paper bag (seriously was that thing bottomless?) and handed it to Kageyama.

"If you need more stuff just ask me, or Daichi. Or you could get it yourself if you're brave enough." Sugawara smiled. "Oh! But if you're going to buy more lube make sure it's water based, okay? Oil-based stuff destroys condoms."

"Right."

"Great. You guys should go get changed the rest of the team should start arriving soon."

Just as Sugawara was wrapping up their little lesson, the door to the gym creaked open and Daichi poked his head in. Seeing them still sitting on the floor he went to close it again but Sugawara called out to him before he could.

"Daichi get your cute little ass in here right now or so help me." He said, hint of a threat in his tone. Apparently he didn't care about keeping their secret anymore. Hinata supposed it was unnecessary now that he and Kageyama knew it.

Daichi however wasnt aware of this and paled considerably. "Suga what are you-"

"They know."

"You told them?!"

"No, _you_ told them," Sugawara raised his eyebrows, "when you left."

It took Daichi a moment but his mouth opened in a small o shape."Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_."

"Suga, I'm sorry, I-"

Sugawara held up a hand to silence him and sighed. "Not now."

Hinata and Kageyama watched on curiously, a little guilty that they had been the cause of this. They had gradually moved closer to each other in their mutual discomfort and Hinata could faintly smell Kageyamas shampoo. He missed it. Hinata wanted to bury his face in his soft locks until that smell encompassed all his senses. Kageyama would probably push him away like he had outside they gym. He couldn't think of anything sadder.

"We're sorry! We won't...tell anyone, or anything..." Hinata blurted out before blushing hard and stairing at the ground. "Don't...fight...or anything."

Sugawaras lips stretched into a big maternal smile and it was only then that Hinata realized how familial the conversation had become. "We're not going to fight." Daichi seemed to deflate visibly along with Hinata. "Go get changed, alright?"

Kageyama and Hinata nod, quickly making their way towards the change room. Kageyama had the brown paper bag clutched tight in his fist and as soon as they were out of sight he shoved it deep into his bag. He looked kind of angry.

Hinata would question it, but they're already on rocky ground. Plus, _he's_ still pissed too. Kageyama hadn't shown the slightest bit of interest in him all morning. They're acting like they did in middle school; Kageyama cold and cruel and Hinata cowering but determined all the same.

He dressed quickly, almost falling over as he yanked his shorts up. His chest swelled a little when Kageyama moved to steady him, but deflated when he retracted his hands almost immediately, as if he'd been burned. He stuffed his bag into his locker, unsure whether he should just leave and go out into the gym or wait for his boyfriend. In the seconds it took for him to decide Kageyama was already walking around him, heading for the gym.

"Wait!" Hinata grabbed the hem of his shirt firmly.

Kageyama looked down at him, surprised but mostly agitated it would seem.

Hinata squeezed his eyes shut. What was he doing? What did he want? He wanted... wanted... _something_. "Kiss me." Kageyama recoiled. "Pease, _please_, kiss me."

"The others will be here soon." Kageyama tried to wriggle out of Hinatas grip.

No. He needed this. He couldn't live with himself knowing Kageyama probably didn't want him anymore, but still being the one to stick around. It was almost like being his own antagonist. "I-if you don't like me anymore, just _tell me_." Hinata growled, his stomach doing flips and turning painfully. "It's not fair like this, it's so cruel." Hinata felt used. Kageyama only wanted to experiment or something with him right? Maybe he just wanted to have sex with him. And even though that didn't even work out he decided he was tired of Hinata now, that was it, wasnt it?

Logically, part of him knew that all of that was bullshit. Kageyama wouldn't put up with him for so long just to have not-sex with him and leave. Kageyama liked him, he knew that. But that tiny, rational part of him was buried deep within the overwhelming side of him that overanalysed and saw the worst in everything.

Kageyama looked shocked. He turned around to face Hinata fully, the smaller boy letting go of the fabric at his back. "What are you talking about?"

"You...you don't-"

"Shut up." Kageyama tipped his chin up gently, pressing his cool lips against Hinatas chapped ones. It was soft and sweet, and not nearly what Hinata wanted, but it was enough for now.

After the brush of lips Kageyama pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes. "Stop worrying so much, I like you. How many times do I have to say it?"

"But-!"

Kageyama pressed his thumb to Hinata's lips, stopping any rebuttal before it came.

"You're really cute when you don't talk."

"Hey!" Hinata glared indignantly.

Kageyama smiled - a _real_ smile - taking a few strands of Hinata's hair in his fingers. It was a strange nervous habit he'd picked up recently, Hinata noted. "Listen..." Kageyama said. "I need a little time. Just to think and stuff." Pausing to gage Hinatas reaction, he twirled a red lock around his forefinger. It was very dustracting. "And don't go thinking I'm gonna break up with you or whatever other dumb shit you can think up, I just have to figure out a few things on my own."

Hinata frowned. "But... for how long? Are you going to stay away from me completely?" Just what did Kageyama want to do? Hinata hated spending long periods of time without seeing him at least once, surely Kageyama wouldn't want to steer clear of him for a few weeks?

"I don't know, hopefully not very long. And no, I'm not going to keep away from you or anything, I just... Need a little more space than usual? We'll still hang out and stuff."

Hinata shook his head slightly, Kageyama was basically asking for them to act like they'd broken up. How was that any different from actually breaking up? It would still feel the same to Hinata. Instead it would be like a trial run? "You want us to be like before we got together?"

Kageyama looked pained at that. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Oh." A pause. "Are you sure you still like me?"

"Yes! Hinata I do, I just really need to sort some things out. Please, it won't be for too long." He sounded kind of pathetic, practically begging as he was. It clearly wasnt something he felt comfortable doing if the scary look on his face was anything to go by.

Hinata pouted, looking down at his feet. "Can I have at least one kiss a day?"

"Hinata." Kageyama groaned, pinching him.

Hinata looked up, turning his pouty face on Kageyama. He knew he couldn't refuse.

"Fine. But I get to initiate them _and_ say when they end."

What a killjoy. Hinata tried a few more seconds of intense pouting action but Kageyama must've had some sort of superpower because he held his ground. Hinata sighed dramatically, "Okay."

Kageyama looked relieved to have met the conclusion of the conversation, and mostly in the way he wanted probably too. "C'mon, practice." He jerked his head towards the door.

"Yeah."

Following Kageyama out of the locker room, Hinata told himself that he would be okay with the other boy taking some time to 'figure stuff out'. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. He wasn't sure.

One thing he was certain of however; No matter what, Kageyama was worth it.


End file.
